Well I Lied lol

Well I realize I said previously that I would be posting more and I have not. I tried to make it my plan to post on at least a weekly basis but I have fallen way short of that goal. I do know that I will try my best now that I have a few other things in order.

The hardest part is my anxiety that I have. I worry about too much and get side tracked and jump down the rabbit hole. In an endless panic fearing that I will fail at everything I try to do. Truth is that I will only fail because I fear I'm going to.

My content I'm posting to YouTube is increasing in quality. Well increasing at least to me. I'm getting more comfortable in making videos and becoming more active in them. Instead of focusing on not saying the right thing or making a fool of myself, I'm allowing myself make a fool out of myself and by doing that I'm making the content that I want. I can't wait to be able to make more of the content that I want to make.

My biggest distraction is finding a job though. Money is really tight I mean to the point where I have to ask for help from others. If you don't know this about me every time I ask for help I either have a mini panic attack or a full fledge one later on worrying about what I looked like to them or how I'm going to pay back. I search for hours trying to find new jobs but two things get In my way. I drive a VW Bus which makes me not want to have to travel too many miles. The main problem is my anxiety of failing makes me not want to apply or makes question myself for wanting the job. In short I either don't apply for the job because I'm afraid of failing at it or I don't apply because I look to into the requirements and don't want to risk being told I don't have what it takes.

With that said though I do have some things coming together for me while I still have to work on others. I will try my best to keep this page alive and going on at least a monthly basis if not weekly or biweekly.

As always thanks for reading and supporting me.

Much love.